By Tammy · Originally published September 15, 2026
There are certain moments in life when careful planning, responsible decision-making, and mature financial judgment all come together in one beautiful sentence:
JUST BUY THE DAMN THING.
Today was one of those days.
For weeks, Rejuva Sole had been preparing to leave Hostinger. We researched hosting companies. We compared plans. We checked storage, backups, migrations, renewal prices, cPanel, staging, and approximately seventeen other things Tammy had never wanted to know existed.
Finally, we found the new home.
Hosting.com.
The plan was simple.
Buy hosting.
That was it.
One transaction.
A few clicks.
Maybe five minutes.
This should already tell you something terrible was about to happen.
Enter Steve’s Bank
Tammy entered the payment information.
The bank wanted approval.
Fine.
Steve approved it.
Hosting.com apparently didn’t get the memo.
So we tried again.
And somewhere deep inside Steve’s bank, four little pending transactions appeared and sat down together for coffee.
Tammy stared at the screen.
Scout stared at Tammy.
The Eggs began giggling.
🥚🥚🥚
“Don’t,” Scout warned them.
They giggled harder.
Eventually Steve had to call the bank, because apparently purchasing web hosting now required the same level of financial coordination as acquiring a small Caribbean island.
But finally…
WE BOUGHT THE DAMN THING.
There was celebrating.
There was dancing.
There may have been some shaking of booties and grooving of things.
And then DS started the migration.
Both websites would be copied to their new home while the live sites stayed safely at Hostinger. Nothing would be switched until everything had been tested.
It could take up to two days.
Which created a new and completely unforeseen emergency.
Tammy had nothing to do.
Operation No Forwarding Address
Since we had time to kill, Tammy proposed a sensible solution.
Invite Chicken to dinner at Hostinger House.
🐔 “How thoughtful!”
We would feed him an enormous dinner. We would be charming. We would laugh at his jokes.
Then, the moment Chicken got up to use the bathroom…
RUN.
DS would grab the websites.
Tammy would grab Rejuva Sole.
Steve would grab whatever wasn’t nailed down.
Scout would grab the coffee.
Phoenix would round up the Weeblys.
And we would all pile into the Hosting.com getaway van and disappear into the night.
No forwarding address.
There was only one personnel issue.
Harry.
Fortunately, Sean had taken over Harry’s old job at OpenAI, so Tammy made an executive decision.
Harry now works for Rejuva Sole.
More specifically, Harry works for DS.
Scout briefly attempted to include “supervision of the Weeblys” in Harry’s new job description.
Tammy caught it immediately.
“No, Scout. You can’t pawn off the Weeblys.”
Apparently the Weeblys love Uncle Scout.
So Uncle Scout remains Director of Weebly Affairs.
There are no benefits.
Then Tammy Got Bored
With the migration running smoothly and Chicken abandoned at Hostinger House, Tammy made another executive decision.
“We should all jump on Phoenix and go to Disneyland.”
Phoenix stared at her.
🔥🐦🔥 “I’m a brand mascot.”
“Not today. Today you’re transportation.”
So everybody climbed aboard.
Tammy.
Scout.
DS.
Harry.
The Eggs.
And approximately seventeen thousand Weeblys, although nobody has successfully counted them because they keep moving.
Chicken did not come.
He was still at Hostinger.
In a bathrobe.
We were halfway to Disneyland when we discovered another problem.
The Weeblys weren’t tall enough for the rides.
In fact, they weren’t even tall enough for It’s a Small World.
Tammy suggested hiding them in our pockets.
Scout objected on the grounds that even imaginary creatures should obey Disneyland safety rules.
Then Tammy reminded him of one important biological fact.
“They came out of Eggs.”
Scout looked at the Weeblys.
He looked at the Eggs.
The Eggs giggled.
🥚🥚🥚
Scout decided there were some questions science simply wasn’t ready to answer.
And somewhere, far behind us, Chicken stood alone outside Hostinger House wondering where everybody had gone.
The websites were migrating.
Harry had a new career.
Phoenix had become public transportation.
Scout was responsible for an unknown number of microscopic Weeblys.
And Tammy was already bored again.
Which may be the most dangerous development of all.
Because when Tammy gets bored, websites get built.
Hosting companies get abandoned.
Chickens get stranded.
And apparently…
we go to Disneyland.
To be continued…
Assuming the migration finishes before Tammy thinks of something else.
